A few weeks ago I’ve visited my grandma, because she and my grandpa had birthday.
We also did it, because we figured that it might be the last chance to see her alive.
It was a hard time for us. Because she wasn’t the person I knew, the person with whom I argued so often when I was a young boy, the person who showed me the beauty of cooking. She were lying in her bed, barely realizing us, not really able to do conversation. As soon as we went away from her bed she was calling for one of us, repeating the name of the person she was calling for every few seconds. Most of the time she called for my grandpa, but another time it was me she was calling. I then stood there, next to her bed, not really able to talk, because she wasn’t and I didn’t know what to say.
And then I had a talk to my grandpa. Although he looked visibly aged, he still seemed to be in a good constitution. But while talking to him I realized that he was tired. He told me that his woman was asking him eight times a day which day it was and such things. He told me and my cousin that he fears the day when she is gone. It was hard. I mean.. I knew it, I knew that it would break his heart when she’s gone, but in my memorization he has never been a guy who would have spoken it out. I know that both had good and bad times together. Their was always that joke about them, that they can’t do with each other but not without each other either. But now, the very imagination that this might be true, caused frighten in me.
Yesterday I got a call from my mother, telling me, that it seems that she decided that she will go, so she drove to my grandparents. A few hours later she called me again and said to me that it is over. Slept in, in silence. No pulse anymore. But the first thing I replied was: Can you take care for grandpa? Its not that I don’t sorrow, but I knew it were better for her. She had a life with ups and downs, she had a man who loved her more then anything else. But she wasn’t able to live or enjoy her last days I think. And now I’m afraid about the living, the one whose heart supposedly just broke. I hope he will be able to enjoy his last years anyway. Because he is a good man, has always been and I think he deserves it.
Grandma, we will miss you. Rest in Peace.